Orthopedic pterodactyl, fractal fracture
Truth-impacted toof and a mouthful of lecture
Stay aloof from this conjecture, at your own risk
Stay alone at Red Roof Inn, cook your own Shish-

Ka-bob, Vlad the Impaler
This lyric hits you quicker to kill what ails you.
Wooden stake, silver bullet, words never fail me
This Freddy’s already dead, no grave can jail me.

Drano running through my veins, Rotor-Rooter colon
I super-fly metabolize even when bowlin’.
Pole-vaulting shorties like an Evil Knevil
Shredding cotton panties I’m a devil boll weevil. Feeble

Foes? Down they go—their foibles are legion.
My weeble it don’t wobble when inflicting a teaching.
I boldly go beyond where you started and stopped at.
Got my Klingon bling on, Captain Kirk is my dope cat.

Ain’t got no shame, I’m a white boy rappin
Spit off a hitlist like baby pablum
My witless science got diced and shredded,
Ate shredded wheat took a crap got breaded

Fish filet, lurking in Suburban hideouts
When I asked her before she said she was holding it out
Be all you can be, don’t let the bee sting you
Finger lickin stickin the big chicken bring you

Home—break a few eggs, make an omelette,
I’m letting you know Freddy Flow’s up on it.
Get your Word’sWorth at this Tintern Abbey
My lyrical foreplay makes girls get grabby

My flabby foes get flayed and played out,
Bring my thesaurus to every prize bout
This rhyme’s bout out of gas, but I’m just starting
Dumb and dumber dudes faces are smarting.

Rock the mic literary, allude to the dead dudes
My time in the library was with Kafka not quaaludes
I don’t spit science, I drool liberal arts
CP Snow he had it right Homes, the world’s in 2 parts

I give seminars, classes, even colloquia
History lessons and a sweet Freddy Flow to ya
Class dialectic, defenestration of Prague
95 theses, 4 score on a Lincoln log

Thomas of Occam helps me razor my reason
My raison d’etre is never appeasin’ the masses…
Nor the masters and mucky-mucks
We liberal artists graduate like a lucky duck

Take to the water, or we up and fly
Sound like a PSA, but it ain’t no lie
Gospel truth, can I get an amen?
Or an A-plus grade on this Grade-A spin?