People get kind of silly around babies and pets, don’t they?  Babies?  Fine.  All bets are off.  It’s like some biological imperative to let the baby know we’re not a threat by acting ridiculous.  Pets, though, people fall in to two rigid camps: ‘Getting Cutesy With Your Pets is Idiotic’ and “Mr. Barkington doesn’t see anything wrong with being cute with pets, does he?  No, he doesn’t!  No, he doesn’t!”

For example, of course, there is “talking for the animal,” which I suspect is pretty common. You know, you say to my beagle, Clancy, “Do you want to go jogging?”  Then, while he sits there wagging excitedly, you respond in your patented ‘Clancy Voice,’ “Yeah!  Yes I do!  Let’s go jogging!  I am a jog-gin’ dog!”

Hypothetically, of course.  I would never engage in such silliness. I generally address my pets with a curt nod.

Some people – people far