From the creators of “The Devil’s Dictionary in Miss Jones” and “8 ½” . . .
When the prolific and the profligate meet, sparks fly! A foreign exchange program brings our well-spoken Londoner, Charles “Big Pip” Dickens to Texas, where his host family offers a veritable smorgasbord of Little Debbie snack cakes, great expectorations, and other gustatory delights. Our heroine, aka “The Tail of Two Cities (Dallas/Fort Worth),” puts her postgrad work in literature to good use. “Just close your eyes and think of England,” and soon the Union Jack is flying in a stiff breeze.
Thus inspired, Big Pip reworks his earlier oeuvre into “The QuickieWick Papers” and “Brick House.” Meanwhile, he and Debbie have at it with Miss Havisham, Fagin sees how the other half lives (and gets his name changed), The Artful Dodger can’t avoid a fate worse than death, and Tiny Tim loses the cane.
A Mark Goodson-Bill Todman Production, with funding from the Dallas Convention and Visitors Bureau.
Freddy Flow 
I thought I had a chance, but you went all Mark Goodson – Bill Todman on me! Thought my George C. Scott as Patton quote might’ve unnerved you. I was wrong, so wrong.
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Sorry, can’t chat now, I’ve got the executive producer of Hollywood Squares on line 3.
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Looks like I’m going to have reincarnate Gene Rayburn. Gotta fight fire with bold print polyesters. This isn’t over…not by a long shot. The English majors should be offended by your entry. I haven’t seen such blasphemy since you wrote that gay porn mash-up, “The Old Man and the Sea Cucumber”
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Burn Rayburn burn! Bring it, I got my flammable pajamas on and a few cucumber seeds ready to sow.
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Shoulda known better than to talk smack to a rap impresario.
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East coast/West coast got nothin’ on us… I’m on my second bowl on Honey Smacks.
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So lemme guess; you’re casting Ron Jeremy as David Copp-a-feel.
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Nice! Still can’t figure out where Peter North fits in, however…
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Marilyn Manson as Nipple-less Nipplebee. As a porn expert, I’m sure you know that Peter North doesn’t fit just any old place.
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Nipplebee! good call… And yes, Mr. North prefers new places.
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Peter North starring as DebbieNeedsA Screw-ge. That’s it, my work is done here.
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Ah yes, that’s the money shot! So why do I feel so cheap?
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Feeling cheap is part of the experience – savor it.
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I didn’t know there was actually a Debbie Does Dickens story! Brilliant.
And I am so over Tiny Tim.
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There is now! Just waiting for the right director/producer to come along and I’ve got a hit on my hands…
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