5-0 Replay

Ever'thing, Hop hip
Slurred my words from the glasses of Hennesey,
Incurred some losses, sipped the sauces of Genevieve.
Plain to see I’m on a deficit spending spree,
Barack Obama is my main O.G.
Whee! Keep spendin’ all the dead presidents,
Broke the mold, I set the precedent.
Recompense, I’m getting compensated
Y’all haters are Parmesan, getting grated
Fated for greatness, folks are waiting with bated breath.
I’m destiny’s child, son of mother goose and father death.
Treble clef and a violin case
Speakers go to 11, done blown up the parking space.
Ace of bass, y’all fishin’ for facials.
Put a bass in the blender, now it’s time to say grace, y’all.
Some fall back, start to dropping like leaves
But I spring ahead, this primavera don’t cease.
Don’t sneeze, don’t blink, you might miss a mouthful,
I come north from way down south full of
down-home cornpone hillbilly witticisms;
Don’t worry, I’m down with all y’all’s criticism:
“White boy with a red neck rapping.”
“Wake up Mr West!” But I’m still napping.
Eyes wide shut, but third eye alert,
Cruising the hood with Ernie and Bert.
Hit up Big Bird for a payday loan, yo.
PBS funds comin’, he ain’t no dodo.
Never extinct, nine lives like a cat.
And I’m down, up and sideways with all that.
Sat some rappers down, pimped some chumps out,
None could figure what this Freddy is all about.
Had to sit down too, ‘cuz I can’t either.
Word and rhymes come through the ether
Like piss through urethras or respect for Aretha.
Sooner or later these words gonna reach you.
Teach you some learning or preach you some gospel.
Got friendly fire but I rap hostile.
But costs’ll add up, the meter is running,
Get paid by the word, this linguist is cunning.
Tongued me some flutists, or is it flautists?
Check the decibels, which one is loudest?
How this look on my curriculum vitae?
Book ‘em, Dano, it’s a 5-0 replay.
Made a career out of unclear references,
Bade farewell to verbal reticence.
Present tense passed by, I’m already future,
Invented new verbs to work your glutes, suit yourself,
if you’re not with this, sit down,
Finders keepers but I will never be found,
Losers weepers I’m a needle in a haystack,
heavy hitter like a fat man snack attack.
Whacked more weeds than Toro,
Cut more Zs than Zorro.
Tomorrow’s my yesterday, today is so last week,
Celebrate Chinese new year when Pekingese speak.
That’s my dogs, got a mob of chihuahuas,
Yo quiero Taco Bell, dog day mamas,
Got me a llama and 39 acres,
So much cookie I need a dozen bakers,
Maker’s Mark on the tip of my tongue,
The Gospel of Mark’s gonna get expunged.
Bungee jumped, screamed Oh my Lord!
Unfortunately, Mama had cut the cord.

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